Waiting for the Hint of a Spark
by vivaciouslady
Summary: Months have passed since Quorra entered the real world with Sam...and now, for the first time in her life, she has fallen in love. But what is love, anyway?


[author's sidenote: wrote this for my friend Gina 3 aaand I WILL be finishing Between the Ocean and Sky this summer! Thanks to everyone for the sweet reviews and favorites!]

Months had passed since Quorra's arrival in the real world, and many things had happened since then. She had seen the sunrise, eaten real food, met Alan, seen what Flynn had made in this world…helped Sam get back on his feet, explored the city, smelled roses, learned how to drive the Ducati…every day was a new adventure for her, and she woke up excited each morning, eager to see what the day had in store for her.

Or at least, that was how things had been going lately…before a strange feeling had started to grip Quorra.

Recently, her chest started throb, usually when she was spending time with Sam. Initially, Quorra had thought she was just hungry or something, but sometimes, it happened right after she ate. And the pain was higher than her stomach. It was like a dull twinge in her heart that occasionally burst like a spark of fire, inflaming her emotions. But at other times, it banked silently, growing heavier and heavier, sinking deeper and deeper into her most eternal feelings. Quorra felt lightheaded, and her appetite changed…sometimes she just wasn't hungry, other times, although rarer, she would feel ravenous, even if it was right after they just ate. She wasn't really sick, however, so Quorra didn't bother telling Sam directly, not wanting to cause trouble, although he might have noticed her acting a little strange.

Although Quorra was the one who was gradually changing, Sam was the one who seemed different to her. But she couldn't put a finger on how. Everything was the same…but everything had been altered, somehow, sometime, when she hadn't been paying attention. It bothered Quorra so much that she even came right out and asked Sam what had changed, but he didn't know what she was talking about. It was all together a very confusing feeling for her…like thunder without rain, flowers with no scent, wind with no temperature. And then, Quorra began to struggle. She couldn't concentrate very well and do things she could normally do with ease because her thoughts were starting to wander. Quorra had always been something of a dreamer, but it had reached a point that even she didn't think was possible. If she was still a program in the Grid, she would have thought she was malfunctioning.

One day, Quorra had tagged along with Sam to the ENCOM tower. While Sam and Alan were in a meeting, she had gone on one of the free computers. Out of all the things in this world, Quorra understood computers the best, life in the Grid having gifted her with a knack for technology. Thinking her condition was complicated, she decided to look for help on a wide-range BBS forum, using the screen name LivingInfinite7, basing it off her favorite Jules Verne quote and selecting a random number. She listed her symptoms, asking if anyone knew what sort of illness it was, and what the treatment would be. After half an hour, she checked back for any responses. There was one.

Sounds like your typical romance.

What? Her eyes grew wide, staring at the words and trying to take it all in…she had never thought of….it didn't seem…could it even happen for someone like her? Sam was just…to her, he was…Quorra's head was pounding, when someone else responded.

you're in love.

The door opened, and Sam and Alan walked in. Quorra closed the window immediately and looked up at them with a smile.

Instead of staying at home or going to ENCOM with Sam, Quorra chose to spend the next couple of days at the library, trying to figure everything out. Back in the Grid, Quorra used to spend days upon days on books, reading them slowly so she could absorb all of the knowledge. But in the real world, she felt as if there were too many books to be able to do that. Right now, because Flynn wasn't here, and because she couldn't ask Sam or Alan for help, Quorra was turning to them for the answer. So, she had to read quickly if she wanted to make things right as soon as possible…and see if the people on the forum had been telling the truth.

But as the days passed, Quorra still couldn't find a solution. The books weren't making any sense. All of them said different things. Quorra wasn't sure how she was supposed to handle the feeling, or even what love really was. Was it shameless, like it was for Henry and Catherine in _A Farewell to Arms_? A crime, like in _The Scarlet Letter_? Were _Pride and Prejudice_ and _Wuthering Heights_ telling the truth when they said status didn't mean anything? Or did a person have to find their worth and impress the other, like in _Great Expectations_ and _The Great Gatsby_? Was Homer right, in that it was really about loyalty? Quorra's head spun, and she didn't know what to think. Maybe they were all right, or maybe they were all wrong.

Quorra closed her current book and put it back on the shelf where she found it. The library didn't have what she needed. Disappointed, she left. Walking down the street, she stared up at the bright sky and tried to think of a way to find out what to do. She didn't want to turn to the forums anymore. She sighed and stopped walking for a minute, leaning against the glass of a store. She turned and stared at her reflection in the window, as if she was trying to decipher her own emotions on her face…but it was impossible, she just couldn't do it. Quorra glanced inside the store instead, a CD store, and suddenly, the song playing inside changed. But she didn't really notice until it came to a certain verse.

_One of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right…I'm tripping on words._

Quorra's attention was captured, and she moved towards the entrance to listen more.

_You've got my head spinning…I don't know where to go from here._

Her eyes widened. It was as if the music was speaking her feelings outlaid…placing them out there for the world. It _knew_ what she was feeling, more than Hemingway, Fitzgerald, or Dickens. Quorra had known that music outside of the Grid was different sometimes, but she hadn't explored too much. For one thing, Sam liked electronica, which wasn't too different from the sort of music Quorra knew existed before. It was like what Zuse played at the End of Line club. Besides, Quorra was usually too busy learning about other things to concentrate on it. But now, she was slowly coming to understand that music…music could _help_ her.

Quorra's feet started to move before her mind told them too, and she moved to run down the street, back to the library, the song still pounding in her ears. She knew what she had to research.

Back in the library, Quorra retreated to the business center, where they had computers with headphones for people to use. She sat down in one of the chairs and opened up an internet window. Nearly holding her breath, Quorra typed in the lyrics on the search engine, and soon the results came up with a video. She slipped the headphones on and clicked on the video. As it started to play, her pulse quickened, enthralled, and Quorra closed her eyes to hear it better.

_Cause it's you, and me, and all of the people with nothing to do,_

_Nothing to prove._

_And it's you, and me, and all other people._

_And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you._

A breath slowly escaped from Quorra, dying on her lips, almost like a whisper. When it was finished, she clicked on another video.

_I was kinda hesitant to tell you…_

_Should I let you know?_

_I was never really like this before,_

_Need I say more?_

Click.

_Now that I found you, I won't let you go. _

_I built my world around you._

_I need you so,_

_Even though,_

_You don't need me._

Click.

_Looking in your eyes, I see a paradis__e._

_This world that I found is too good to be true._

_Standing here beside you, I want so much to give you this love in my heart._

_That I'm feeling for you._

Quorra's pale face had turned a warm pink color as she listened to the music. She took off the headphones, her mind suddenly clear, a task finally presenting itself. She had to go to the store.

Hours later, Quorra sat on the couch sideways, legs sticking straight out from her and across the leather cushions, back supported by the armrest. She had an old set of headphones on, connected to a pretty out-dated CD walkman she bought for ten bucks earlier. Quorra had borrowed a couple of CD's from the library, all of them save for one in the player tucked away in her bag, each one containing songs about love. With her back slightly inclined, she stared up at the ceiling, sometimes closing her eyes as she listened to the words that spoke her feelings, trying hard to understand. She almost didn't hear the garage door open. As Sam drove in on the Ducati, Quorra immediately moved, nearly scrambled, to sit upright, swinging her legs so her feet met the floor. She tugged her headphones down, and they rested against her neck and shoulders, the song continuing to play.

_Or maybe I'm confused when you are near me__…__I don't know what to do, or I should be._

She clicked pause on the player as Sam parked the motorcycle, got off and pulled his helmet off. "Hey," he greeted. Sam gave her his usual smile, always on the verge of a smirk. Quorra smiled back at him brightly.

"Hey, Sam." It was hard for her to talk when her feelings were full of conflict. She didn't want to see him because of how…nervous he made her, and yet, more than anything, she wanted to see him. Feeling as if she was being drawn forward, Quorra leaned back, fighting the feeling. She felt as if her head was filled with flashing lights that penetrated through even her deepest thoughts, and it was as if she couldn't see right. Everything was shapes and colors. Just by looking at him, Quorra felt as if her heart was flooded with a warm sort of feeling that also ached in her chest. She was so…lost in this emotion, so different from anything she had ever experienced before. But through all of this, Quorra was still able to keep everything together on the surface-maybe having learned it from Sam himself back when he was trying to hide his remorse over the loss of his father. Her feet were still on the ground, even though her soul had been brought to its knees.

His grin broadened when he caught sight of the old walkman. "Oh man, what's up with the walkman, Quorra?" he said, his smile breaking into laughter before he headed towards the refrigerator. She should've known he'd make fun of it. She paused for a moment before replying.

"It's a new mentor," Quorra said, smiling a little to herself as she pulled the headphones off over her head and set them and the player aside. "I'm using it to teach me new things." Sam arched an eyebrow at this as he closed the refrigerator door.

"What, you sayin' I'm not a good enough?" He smirked again, fully this time, gesturing at her with the can of beer.

Quorra laughed. "No," she replied. "You're great." She looked up at him as she said this, the statement having more meaning to it than it seemed. "But there are some things you can't teach me, Sam."

"Yeah?"

Yeah."

Like what?" He took a sip of his beer, glancing at her, his expression indicating that he wasn't offended in the least, only curious to know what was on her mind.

But Quorra hadn't been ready for this. She had to stop to think for a second. "…music," she said, raising her brows as she nearly suggested the excuse.

Sam simpered. "Yeah, I guess that's right." He wasn't much of an artistic guy, more of a left brain than right.

Sam turned towards the harbor and walked towards the deck, and Quorra stared after him. Her wistful blue-green eyes relaxed on the familiar sight of his tall form against the light-studded city in the night. She didn't know if she could tell him how she felt,when she wasn't sure about the whole thing herself. It was a difficult thing, love. She felt like she had to wait for the right moment…she had to be able to understand exactly what was going on. But, despite all the trouble and obstacles facing her now, despite not knowing how he felt, despite the painful pulsation in her heart, she was grateful for it all.

Quorra smiled, and soon joined Sam on the deck.


End file.
